Schrodinger’s Douchebag: One who makes douchebag statements, particularly sexist, racist or otherwise bigoted ones, then decides whether they were “just joking” or dead serious based on whether other people in the group approve or not.
MOVING THIS INTO CIRCULATION IMMEDIATELY.
When [an abusive man] tells me that he became abusive because he lost control of himself, I ask him why he didn’t do something even worse. For example, I might say, “You called her a fucking whore, you grabbed the phone out of her hand and whipped it across the room, and then you gave her a shove and she fell down. There she was at your feet where it would have been easy to kick her in the head. Now, you have just finished telling me that you were ‘totally out of control’ at that time, but you didn’t kick her. What stopped you?” And the client can always give me a reason. Here are some common explanations:
"I wouldn’t want to cause her a serious injury."
“I realized one of the children was watching.”
“I was afraid someone would call the police.”
“I could kill her if I did that.”
“The fight was getting loud, and I was afraid the neighbors would hear.”
And the most frequent response of all:
"Jesus, I wouldn’t do that. I would never do something like that to her.”
The response that I almost never heard — I remember hearing it twice in the fifteen years — was: “I don’t know.”
These ready answers strip the cover off of my clients’ loss of control excuse. While a man is on an abusive rampage, verbally or physically, his mind maintains awareness of a number of questions: “Am I doing something that other people could find out about, so it could make me look bad? Am I doing anything that could get me in legal trouble? Could I get hurt myself? Am I doing anything that I myself consider too cruel, gross, or violent?”
A critical insight seeped into me from working with my first few dozen clients: An abuser almost never does anything that he himself considers morally unacceptable. He may hide what he does because he thinks other people would disagree with it, but he feels justified inside. I can’t remember a client ever having said to me: “There’s no way I can defend what I did. It was just totally wrong.” He invariably has a reason that he considers good enough. In short, an abuser’s core problem is that he has a distorted sense of right and wrong.
I sometimes ask my clients the following question: “How many of you have ever felt angry enough at youer mother to get the urge to call her a bitch?” Typically half or more of the group members raise their hands. Then I ask, “How many of you have ever acted on that urge?” All the hands fly down, and the men cast appalled gazes on me, as if I had just asked whether they sell drugs outside elementary schools. So then I ask, “Well, why haven’t you?” The same answer shoots out from the men each time I do this exercise: “But you can’t treat your mother like that, no matter how angry you are! You just don’t do that!”
The unspoken remainder of this statement, which we can fill in for my clients, is: “But you can treat your wife or girlfriend like that, as long as you have a good enough reason. That’s different.” In other words, the abuser’s problem lies above all in his belief that controlling or abusing his female partner is justifiable….
ANNIE - Official Trailer (2014)
Not entirely sure about the notoriously awful singer Cameron Diaz as Ms Hannigan (‘Little Girls’ is the best song of the show tbh) but I’m digging this revamp
Ballerinas are the most underrated athletes.
GUYS SHE IS SPINNING ON HER TOE.
ALL HER WEIGHT ON HER TOE.
Thank you someone for finally acknowledging this.
People always make ballet seem like such a wimpy, easy sport.
While we are dancing, we have to:
- turn out our feet
- hyper extended our knees
- tuck our buts under
- flatten our stomach
- close your ribcage (to the point where you cant breathe)
- shoulders are down and back
- elbows are lifted
- hands and fingers are soft
- neck is long
- use proper head movements
ALL THIS WHILE STILL IN OUR STARTING POSITIONS NOW DO ALL THAT WHILE MOVING AND LOOKING GORGEOUS. AND EFFORTLESS
You try holding your leg by your head without touching it and turning on the tips of your toes and wooden shoes and tell me ballet isn’t hard.
People always say “don’t be a ballerina” and “don’t be such a pussy”
when really ballerinas and vagina’s are probably the most hardcore things
AND BALLERINAS WITH VAGINA’S ARE JUST STRAIGHT UP METAL
SO DO NOT TELL ME BALLET IS FUCKING EASY AND NOT A REAL SPORT
Most ballerina’s are also known for dancing until their feet bleed, bandaging them up and getting back on with the show.
ballerinas are fucking hardcore ok
THANK YOU ALL. YOU ARE ALL SMART NICE PEOPLE. unlike the fuckin turds that don’t understand our ballerina hardcoreness.
Tweet 1: I can see a lot of people either avoiding Plan B & ending up pregnant or attempting to take multiple doses & getting sick.
Tweet 2: anyone w a credit card (not everyone, I know) can/should use ella ella-rx.com they’ll ship it overnight $45
SIGNAL BOOST. Ella is another form of emergency contraception/the morning-after pill. It’s more effective than Plan B and can be taken up to FIVE DAYS after your mishap, rather than three days. Please spread this around; with all of the anti-choice legislation flying about and how difficult it can be for some people to get Plan B even OTC (like minors, people living in small towns, etc.), this might be the only way a lot of people can get their hands on the morning-after pill.
I’ve also read that Ella is more effective for plus size people.
This is important. Ella works for everyone. Plan B is not effective for people over 176 pounds. Protect yourself
Upon googling this and looking at multiple sources, this seems to be a legit thing! Major signal boost!
Holy shit something that’s like Plan B and works for people over 176 pounds? This is great!
I was gonna add the part about weight, but GOOD JOB TUMBLR!